There are some things in this life that you won’t understand as a member of the opposite sex. A big reason men and women get into some of the biggest arguments you’ve ever heard of is because guys just don’t understand us. And face it, some men kind of suck at empathizing about things that have never actually happened to them directly.
BOOBS & BRAS
Starting off as a young girl, you worry that you are developing too early or even too late. Holy hell will break out if your boobs grow bigger than every other girl in your 5th grade class, it’s embarrassing- trust me! And I am assuming the same embarrassment if they don’t grow fast enough. From training bras to old lady bras, they are annoying. It’s always hard to find good ones that fit and when you do they never keep their shape that long. Guys will never experience the utter horror of side boob, or worse, a nip slip. And let’s not even get into under boob sweat-ugh. Dealing with boobs is something men will never understand but I know you women understand the relief of removing a bra after a long tiring day.
PERIODS, CRAMPS & PMS
This is the ultimate mystery for men. In fact, it is known that all men (if they are smart) stay far away from a woman who is PMSing. And yes, most men do their best to be considerate when asking questions, trying not to ask the wrong thing, but as soon as you start explaining to them how everything works, they start to shut down and no longer want to listen. I don’t blame them, it’s a little yucky and complicated. But just know this, “I’m fine,” it often means she’s not at all fine. Just buy her chocolate and all should be fine.
OB/GYN VISITS & CHILDBIRTH
First off, going to a gynecologist as a young woman is one of the scariest things a female will ever have to do. And it is not that it is scary at all, but more of the unknown adult world you are now officially entering.
Being pregnant is a wonderful, yet at the same time, terrifying experience. You have this human that is growing inside you. The baby moves around beating the crap out of your insides regardless of the hour of day. You now must buy maternity clothes because nothing fits you, you get pains often and worry about them constantly, your hormones and emotions are cra-cra, you crave the craziest things to eat. You start falling in love with this alien invading your body, then you remember you must push this huge object out of your vagina-greeeeat. And then you have a beautiful child and all will be forgotten, until next pregnancy.
Wearing Spanx. No explanation necessary.
Walking in heels. We must learn to walk in them. Yes, they can be as dangerous as they look. Yes, our feet hurt like hell if we wear them for more than an hour. And yes, we might even use them as weapons if the need arises. But we know we look extremely hot wearing them and that’s why we’ll never stop.
Being catcalled. Because guys think that this is a compliment, and they’d be happy to hear such things whistled from random women on the streets. Guys NEVER understand how this girl problem is just creepy.
Long bathroom lines. Women need to use bathrooms more often and for longer periods of time, there needs to be more women’s restrooms added per restroom locations. When are they going to be smart enough to figure this out?
Bathing suit season. Most women dread this part of the summer season. All women’s bodies are entirely different and shopping for a swimsuit sucks.
Waxing & Shaving. Rashes, ingrown hairs, itchy stubble, cuts. All in the pursuit of feeling and being felt silky smooth.
Putting on Makeup. Everyday Women are bombarded on every side about how they should look. Do you really think it’s possible for us to look this good all the time without putting in any effort? We go through hell. And if we go one day without makeup people ask, “are you sick?” “is everything ok?”. UGH!
Nail polish. Yes, my fingernails and toenails must match. And if they do not, I am mortified-don’t judge.
Proms & Special Occasions. Finding the right dress for a special occasion is a taxing task that requires hours and hours of shopping. And it is NOT the fun type of shopping we live for either. We also worry that another person may be wearing the same exact dress. And what if they look better!
Wage gaps. And yes, the wage gap continues. See last week’s blog.
This is just a few problems men will ever understand about being female. All we need is a little bit of understanding, a little bit of respect, a little bit of support, a little bit of love and lots of chocolate and wine, if you are of age. We are not that complicated..lol….ok, yes we are. But we are kind and lovable and never boring.
Mary Beth Iannarella
Girl Talk Marlton