INTEGRITY

If I could teach everyone only one value to live by, it would be integrity.

Integrity is crucial in all aspects of life: professional, personal, social and spiritual. Yet, so many people lack it. Integrity is doing the right thing, even when nobody’s watching. It means being true to yourself.

Integrity is a consistency between a person’s inner values and attitudes and their outward words and actions. The more consistent we are, the higher the degree of integrity we possess.

Those that live with the value of integrity are honest, trustworthy, fair, show respect, accept responsibility, and have courage. The best way to guard your integrity is to decide in advance that you will never sell out or surrender your integrity.

The road to integrity is not an easy one but it’s the only one worth traveling. Integrity is essential if we are going to become people who positively and powerfully impact others.

People who demonstrate integrity draw others to them because they are trustworthy and dependable. They act with honor and truthfulness. They treat people equally and take responsibility for their own feelings and actions.

A word of advice to those who are striving for a reputation of integrity: Avoid those who are not trustworthy. If someone is dishonest in any aspect of his or her life you can be guaranteed that they will be dishonest in many aspects of their life. It is important to realize that others pay attention to those you have chosen to associate with, and they will inevitably judge your character by the character of your friends.

So, surround yourself with people of integrity. That makes sense, doesn’t it?!

~Mary Beth Iannarella

GirlTalkMarlton.org

 “Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory.”

― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Dream…Wish…Hope.

Give your dreams a chance, I did. I clearly remember watching the news broadcast of Simonetta Lein, the Wishmaker being interviewed with the Philadelphia Wishwall in the backdrop and its purpose was being explained.

As I stood in front of the TV, I listened attentively trying to gather as much information as I could about this project. “A Wishwall in every city where people can express their wishes and we, the Wishwall Foundation, grant those dreams that are most meaningful”, Simonetta said in her beautiful Italian accent. When the segment concluded, I exclaimed loudly, “I want one!” No one in my house knew what I was talking about, but I was now on a mission.

I googled the Wishwall Foundation and found out all I could online, I followed them on all social media, emailed Simonetta and let her know that I was interested in a Wishwall in my town of Marlton NJ. To my delight and amazement, she answered me almost immediately and by the end of the week we had spoken several times on the phone discussing the many facets of the Wishwall Foundation. My head was spinning thinking of different ways that my mentoring chapter of Girl Talk Inc could collaborate with her.

So, during the next leaders meeting of the mentoring program I spoke to the girls about the Wishwall. I showed them the news report along with a few other you tube videos and articles I found about actual wishes that Simonetta helped to make come true! The girls were in! We decided to make a mock-up of a small wishwall to explain it to the rest of the group so they could get a better understanding.

At our next general meeting when all the members of our chapter gather together, we revealed our mock-up wall and the leaders invited the girls to write wishes and come post them on this wall. We explained our desire to bring the Wishwall Foundation to Marlton with a permanent physical Wishwall where wishes can come true. We also discussed the online wishwall and that Girl Talk would be getting our own page and will be writing for the women’s wishwall every week! The girls were very excited to hear this and wanted to learn more. We let them know that we were heading to meet with Simonetta at her home the following week and we would have more information after that meeting.

So, fast forward to today, we are in full swing planning our event. It will be Saturday, December 10^th from 12:30-4:30pm at the Evesham Library in Marlton, NJ and YOU are invited to see my wish come true. This is my wish, for YOU. Please come with your meaningful wish and bring it to our wall in Marlton. You do NOT have to be resident of Marlton and the wish does NOT have to be for you. The wish need be a meaningful one and the Wishwall Foundation and the board members will review all wishes. The event will be spectacular with vendors, food, fun, music and plenty of love and smiles so please come and share in my wish come true. Girl Talk Marlton members and the Wishwall Foundation are very excited about this event!

As I am writing this I must admit, I do have another wish. I am wishing for a physical space for my girls to “hangout”. I would like a place where the girls and our volunteers can call our own. Where the girls can decorate themselves and we can have some of our meetings. Ah….I can dream can’t I?

~Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall

www.girltalkmarlton.org

www.thewishwall.org

We all judge each other, and it is OK

You always hear DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS, but I think it is a part of human nature. No matter how subtle, most of the time we judge unconsciously or by intuition.  I judge others all the time, and you do, too. You are judging this article right now, and that is okay.  From the moment you meet someone, you are judging their clothes, hair, makeup, and so on. You don’t even notice it, but we do it all day long.

Judgment is nothing but evaluation of evidence or facts to help us decide.  It is that little voice inside our heads that tells us to ask that sweet looking woman for directions instead of that young teenager because you judged him that he wouldn’t know.  Or when you decide to not pick the checkout line with the young chatty girl because you assume she will be too slow. We judge or evaluate life experiences, situations, things, opinions, thoughts, and people based on the values, emotions and logic we were taught. As human beings, we are blessed with touch, speech, hearing, taste, smell, common sense (most of us-lol) and intuition. These senses help us to evaluate every person or situation-in other words, judge.

Accept your urge to judge, it will help you make good decisions. Assume everyone else judges everyone else (because they do).  Ask others to share their judgements of you. Listen with an open heart and mind.  Embrace your judgements and be willing to learn from others judgements of you. Every person you meet has something special to give you—that is, if you are open to receiving it.

Merriam-Webster defines “judgment” as “An opinion or decision that is based on careful thought. The act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought. The act of judging something or someone. The ability to make good decisions about what should be done.” Many people don’t use the “careful thought” part of the definition and that is where I think good judgment and bad judgment come into play.

Judge when it is right to judge, and know how to judge. That’s imperative. There’s a thin line between judgment and ignorance, which leads to injustice. Knowing when to judge is also very important. Discretion and calculation in judgment is strength, for it shows wisdom and maturity.  Gossiping, ridiculing, or wanting to cause harm to someone by judging shows only your immaturity and ignorance.

People fear being judged because they fear being evaluated. Don’t fear it, instead embrace it! We must recognize that we are all imperfect and it is okay. People are going to judge you regardless of what you are or are not doing, so just do whatever makes you happy. And when you choose to step out and walk into the things you have been called to do, you can and should except judgement. Prepare for it and it will not come as a surprise. We cannot always help what happens to us, but we can help how we react to these things.

 “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

My wish for you is to Live Courageously!

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

 

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

Stand up & Do Your Part to Help Others by Mary Beth Iannarella

It’s easy to get so wrapped up in fixing your own life that you forget about helping others and being kind. And while it’s important to put yourself first sometimes, it is also important to help others whenever you can. People are usually good-hearted by nature. They want to do good things; they want to help other people whenever they can. Some will even go beyond their means to help someone in need if they’ve been deeply touched by the circumstances of the needy one. But sometimes, we just forget, it’s okay- we are all human.

There is scientific evidence that kindness can improve our lives. Helping others and showing kindness is not only good for those in need, it also makes us happier and healthier too. Kindness and caring for others also seem to be very contagious. When we see someone do something kind or thoughtful, or we are on the receiving end of kindness, it inspires us to be kinder ourselves. Kindness really is the key to creating a happier, more trusting local community. And kindness doesn’t cost a thing!

And it’s not all about money – we can also give of our time, ideas and energy. We all have special talents that make this world a richer place. Serve people by showing them how beautiful life can be when you live passionately exploring it with your talents. This may be in writing, painting, singing, or any area of life. Or maybe you could listen and be present to people and just show them respect. Or just try to appreciate people for who they are, not just the behaviors they display.

Whatever you’re doing to help others, no matter how small or unimportant it may seem to you, it can make a huge impact in someone else’s life. Don’t think what you’re going to get in return, that ruins the good deeds. Just do “it”, whatever it is, from your heart. People may not have noticed what you’ve done, people may not compliment you for it but the good has been done. That’s when the blessing you didn’t ask for is bestowed upon you. That’s when the good amplifies and comes back to you.

It’s a beautiful circle, when helping begins with you and you inspire people to practice kindness and pass it on to others. Helping others in my opinion is no way selfish, rather it is a “win win” situation. The person you helped is much better off now and you have raised your self-esteem, feel happier, more motivated and super confident. You can achieve almost anything you want if you believe in yourself and you put your heart and mind to it.

I believe our true purpose in life is to give our lives away to others, and that we receive happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in return. Why not stand up and do your part to spread happiness and kindness in the world? Start small, in your community or neighborhood, or the man you see every morning on the corner. There is always someone that can use your help. My wish today is that you just give it a try.

Here are just a few suggestions from me to get you started:

What can I do to help others?

• Smile and be friendly. You never know what someone is going through.

• Call a charity to volunteer your time and talents.

• Donate something you don’t use to an organization that doesn’t sell!

• Make a monetary donation to your favorite local charity.

• Stop to help someone in need.

• Buy someone a cup of coffee.

• Comfort someone in grief.

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

 

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” – Charles Dickens

 

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank

The Wishwall in Marlton, NJ Update

As I wrote previously, the event for the Wishwall in Marlton NJ on December 10^th was a huge success. We had over 200 people in attendance posting their wishes and reading other wishes of those in the community. It was a beautiful day as we dedicated the Wishwall in honor of the late Christina Grimmie, who was from Marlton and represented herself well on the NBC show the voice. Pictured left, Mark Grimmie, Simonetta Lein- The Wishmaker, and myself. What an amazing day, you could just feel the love in the room. Pictures tell only part of the stories heard with so many wishes of those in attendance. My heart was filled with so much love and joy that day, I cannot even explain it in words.

As some of you may be aware of, the Evesham Library decided that once the event was over that they no longer wanted to hang the sign permanently in their location because they didn’t want holes in their walls nor liked the size of the sign. So, as of now, we are still looking for a permanent location for The Wishwall- in Marlton – where we can come together to view what our community needs are and maybe help one another. The Wishwall is good-hearted international mural project that is made by the people and is a point of attraction for all to see. Also, with this wishwall being dedicated in the memory of Marlton’s own Christina Grimmie, who was taken from us in an act of violence, it is a sign of love and hope for peace. I hope someone from the community of Marlton will step up and embrace the message The Wishwall Foundation & Girl Talk has brought to the town. I thank each person and business that has helped along the way thus far.

The Wishwall Foundation board members have been working very hard going through each wish that was submitted for the December 10^th event. What a hard task to pick the wish to grant that will make the most impact on the community. Once the wish is picked, it is not over but only just begun. The Wishwall Foundation and the board members will get to work to make that wish a reality. There is much planning that is involved and I can’t give too much away to spoil the surprises but I can tell you that there are 3 wishes that will be granted from this wall. Each of these 3 wishes are ones that will impact the community the most. I am so very excited! Be sure to stay tuned to get all the details!

The Wishwall Foundation also has a huge online and social presence. People post wishes every day on the website www.thewishwall.org and The Wishwall Foundation spends many hours and dollars to help others. Please consider continuing to donate to this wonderful organization, this is my wish this week. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact The Wishwall Foundation or myself at any time.

 

“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’. Confidence instead is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.”-Christina Grimmie

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/the-wishwall-in-marlton-nj-update/

Work Peacefully by Mary Beth Iannarella

See more on the wishwall online http://thewishwall.org/desideri/work-peacefully/

Millions of women across the globe took to the streets to march against President Donald Trump Saturday, January 21, 2017. In Washington DC alone, approximately 500,000 turned out to stand up for gender equality, healthcare for women and other issues thought to be threatened under Trump’s presidency.

This protest on anti-female policies were all started on a Facebook event page. Teresa Shook, a retired attorney and grandmother living in Hawaii, created the event page calling for a march on Washington after Trump’s inauguration. On the other side of the country, Bob Bland had the same idea. He is a New York-based fashion designer. Bland, working with others, consolidated various protest pages, including Shook’s, that had cropped up on Facebook and recruited three longtime, New York-based activists to be co-chairs of the national march.

Per PoliticsUSA.com, the attendance in different cities were as follows:

Washington DC: 500,000
LA: 200,000-750,000
New York: 200,000-500,000
Chicago: 250,000
Boston: 250,000
Denver: 200,000
Oakland: 60,000
Madison: 100,000
Atlanta: 60,000
St. Paul: 60,000
Philadelphia: 50,000
Pittsburgh: 20,000
Nashville: 20,000
Marches were also held around Europe including Paris and Barcelona.

Per womensmarch.com, it’s message has only just begun. “Thank you to the millions of people around the world who, on January 21, came together to raise our voices. But our march forward does not end here. Now is the time to get our friends, family and community together and MAKE HISTORY. Join us in launching a new campaign: 10 Actions for the first 100 Days. EVERY 10 DAYS WE WILL TAKE ACTION ON AN ISSUE WE ALL CARE ABOUT, STARTING TODAY.”

The good news is, around the country more people have come together in solidarity protesting peacefully. It’s okay to be angry, it is how we channel that anger that makes it another matter. Violence, is never the answer. I believe it should be a peaceful movement simply asking for equal respect, justice and our rights.

Peaceful stances against unequal civil rights have been successful throughout history and nonviolent movements can lead to meaningful systemic changes. While media loves to bombards us with stories and images of bloodshed and the destruction a few protesters may cause, the true spotlight should be on those standing together today in peace simply asking for equality for all.

Hitting the streets to make your voice heard is a fundamental right in the United States, and it’s part of our country’s lifeblood. Whether you protest in support or dissent, stay peaceful. Living in society, we should share the sufferings of our fellow citizens and practice compassion and tolerance not only towards our loved ones but also towards our enemies. I will always stay true to myself and my beliefs but I do respect that other people have their own thoughts, beliefs and ideas also.

My wish for you is to work peacefully.

“Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.”- James Lane Allen

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall

“Peace does not mean an absence of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving these differences through peaceful means; through dialogue, education, knowledge; and through humane ways.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV

11:11 What Does It Mean to you?

Do you ever look up at the clock and notice it’s 11:11? Does it happen to you often? Do you make a wish when you see 11:11?

Some people believe the numbers 11 and 1111 are considered to represent new beginnings as well as moments of oneness. Some people claim that when this number is seen it means that there is some kind of window opening up in your life and you should ask for the guidance of your ‘angels’ to find out what it is. Other theories state that there is something significant happening in the moment that you are in and you should pay attention to what is going on in your surroundings.

Per numerology the number 11 possesses the qualities of patience, honesty, spirituality, sensitivity, intuition and is idealistic and compassionate. Those people who are drawn to 11, operate on a different level of energy than most, and when two people come together who both have this type of energy it’s almost combustible.

Some say 11:11 is the universe’s way of urging us to pay attention to our heart, our soul and our inner intuition. Another thought is that 11:11 is a form of synchronicity. You get a feeling from seeing the numbers because they seem to jump out at you– to connect. You are feeling in sync with that pulse of life which runs through all things. For a moment, you feel at one, rather than separate and alone.

One of my favorite ideas that I read was that when you see 11:11 you should simply stop, and recognize the significance of the moment. Any why not just take a moment? No one really can trace the origins, it’s just something learned on the playground, or through word of mouth. Still, I’ve found that it’s a great moment to pause and set a powerful intention or wish.

Besides being a number that’s associated with dreams and wishes coming true, 11:11 is the only time of the day (using the 12-hour clock) that all four digits on the clock are the same. Not only is it an appealing number to the eye because of its symmetry and binary simplicity but because in this world where things are becoming so difficult and people are sometimes forced to settle for things; it gives people hope or something to believe in. 

The truth of the matter is, 11:11 is subject to interpretation. There is really no right or wrong answer when it comes to the question of “What does it mean” for you?

In my opinion and what resonates with me, is that when you see ‘11:11’ whether on a clock, a license plate, an address or wherever you happen to see it, embrace it like it is a friendly little sign from your soul, source, higher-self, or the entire Universe, whatever you choose to call it, God, if you will, that everything is in alignment and you are exactly where you need to be, right here, right now.

So, my wish this week for you is to collect as many good moments and experiences as possible. Make as many wishes on 11:11, or that shooting star on anything else you believe in and just dream, hope and live so that when you are old and life plays as a flashback, it is a colorful movie, not a black and white reel.

Happy thoughts for you always,

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS DO NOT WORK

The New Year approaches and as usual there are great hopes, dreams and resolutions to make for the coming year. What is a New Year’s resolution? It is a promise that you make to yourself to start doing something good or stop doing something bad. YouGov.com most recent poll of the top New Year resolutions is:  1. Lose weight. 2. Get fitter 3. Eat more healthily. 4. Take more care of appearances. 5. See more of friends and family. Sound familiar? To me, most of them apply. Sadly, before the month of January comes to an end, many of these resolutions are abandoned and quickly forgotten. In fact, a startlingly recent statistic suggests approximately 25 percent of people abandon a resolution within the first week. Do you recall your resolutions from last year? Me neither.

But this year I vowed to have a new kind of “resolution,” not doing one or two small things differently, but reflecting on my purpose and how I can act on it every day to make an enduring impact in my life and in society overall. I will make it my goal. The term goal and resolution are often used interchangeably; however, they differ greatly. A goal is a desired action or behavior a person wishes to achieve, not just a wish or aspiration. Put your goal in writing, be sure it is something that you are passionate about, plan and give yourself a timeline with a purpose. Goal timelines can be modified along the way so that you can keep trying until you reach your desired outcome. Do not become discouraged along the way if you go off track, simply reboot and get your goal back in your minds view. It is achievable if you believe it is.

My wish for you this New Year’s: resolve to think about how to make your life better, not just once a year, but every day. Resolve to set goals, not just in one or two aspects of life, but in every important aspect of your life as a whole. Resolve to pursue the goals that will make you successful and happy. If you do this, you will be resolving to do the most important thing of all: to take your happiness seriously.

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/new-year-resolutions-do-not-work/

Be Thankful by Amanda Alexander

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/be-thankful

With Thanksgiving around the corner, I think it is best to talk about being thankful. My wish for people is that they appreciate what is given to them, and get the appreciation back that they deserve.

Thanksgiving is a time when family, friends, neighbors, and everyone comes together to show their appreciation for everything and everyone they have in their lives. My wish is for people to be more receptive to the holiday and take it more seriously. Everyday, people are losing family members, starving, and hurting, but there are still people who do not appreciate all they have.

As a high school senior, I know the stresses that one can go through in life. Us seniors are applying to colleges, getting through school work, planning prom, planning our senior trip, and so much more. It seems stressful, but why can’t we view it as more of an exciting process? I wish people would think positively and make good thoughts out of what they are given in life because no matter what, someone has it worse and those stresses we go through, could be way worse.

I have personally witnessed people being selfish and ungrateful, being disrespectful to teachers and parents, and bossing around their friends. It is around this time of the year that behavior like that truly breaks my heart, since it is a time to be thankful for all that you have. It is a time for family, friends, and happiness, and I hope more people learn to appreciate that, since not everyone has the access to that kind of love.

All together, my wish is for happiness and appreciation for what we have. In the end, we all have so much to be thankful for, and I think it would be amazing if more people could realize that and truly be thankful this season. Not only do I wish for people to BE thankful, I wish people could act upon it, show their appreciation, and do something nice for another person that they are thankful for.

THE IMPORTANCE OF KINDNESS By Kailey Gaffney -Senior Leader of Girl Talk Marlton NJ Chapter

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/the-importance-of-kindness/

I have loved helping people and see kindness, in big ways and small, for as long as I can remember. My non-profit organization, Girl Talk in Marlton, NJ, helps me to do that for younger girls who need a helping hand through life.

My youth group has also helped me to do that for my community and people who I don’t even know. In the last 4 years of my life, I have traveled to places like Indianapolis, Atlanta, Pennsylvania, and more with these groups to meet new people and help others, whether it was physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I have made and served lunches for the homeless in Philadelphia, made breakfast for the Ronald McDonald house in Camden, I have volunteered my time to complete strangers, and now am a part of the best thing I could’ve asked to be a part of… the Wishwall. I love helping people, it is something I consider a hobby and I was given this love of helping others at such a young age. I started volunteering locally when I was 12, but now do it all over! It’s something I consider a huge part of me. Volunteering and helping people has made me who I am today.

I’ve been told that my gift of helping others expands much farther than physically helping people, but emotionally as well. I am the oldest female teen in my youth group currently, and my youth group is something that I hold a place for in my heart. A lot of my friends in this youth group will always tell me that I’m an older sister figure to them. I love just sitting in the car for hours with my friends just talking, giving them advice and having them tell me how they feel. The look in their eyes when I tell them I’m there for them is a look like no other.

Being someone who didn’t get much help when going through a really rough period of life as a younger girl, I don’t know where or how I exactly got this gift to help people. One thing I know, for sure, is that I am so thankful for it. Making other people happy is what makes me the happiest. Knowing that I am the person people like to go to when they’re feeling down, whether it’s about a breakup with their boyfriend or girlfriend, a family issue, or stress from school and work, it makes me feel good. For some reason I just find so much interest in people confiding in me for help.

However, sometimes, being this way and doing what I do makes me sad.

As much as it makes me feel happy, I know that the people I love the most, are going through struggles I can’t fix for them. Yes, sometimes, just simply being there is enough. But, most of the time, I wish I can do more. I wish that the homeless families in Philadelphia didn’t lose their homes. I wish that my friends, who are such good people, didn’t have to go through the daily struggles they have to go through. I wish cancer didn’t exist and everyone was healthy. I know these things aren’t something I can control, however, it makes me think about it more.

So, what’s my wish? My wish is for healing. Emotional and physical healing. My wish is for people who are feeling down, to get the emotional help they need to get better. My wish is for people who are ill to be able to get the medicine and help from doctors they need to be cured. My wish is for people to heal others, in any way they can, like I have done for so many people over the years, and will continue to do with the rest of my life.

Stop hate, spread love, and do something good for someone today. A simple random act of kindness like holding the door for someone can make someone’s day.

Help others. It’s the best gift you could ever give, and the feeling you get from doing it is the best gift you could ever receive.

Kailey Gaffney of Girl Talk Marlton for the Womens Wishwall

www.girltalkmarlton.org

www.thewishwall.org