Some Female Problems Most Males Will Never Understand

There are some things in this life that you won’t understand as a member of the opposite sex. A big reason men and women get into some of the biggest arguments you’ve ever heard of is because guys just don’t understand us. And face it, some men kind of suck at empathizing about things that have never actually happened to them directly.

052a2f319997739329b0d6be0da5e374f2e1e5-wide-thumbnailBOOBS & BRAS

Starting off as a young girl, you worry that you are developing too early or even too late. Holy hell will break out if your boobs grow bigger than every other girl in your 5th grade class, it’s embarrassing- trust me! And I am assuming the same embarrassment if they don’t grow fast enough. From training bras to old lady bras, they are annoying. It’s always hard to find good ones that fit and when you do they never keep their shape that long. Guys will never experience the utter horror of side boob, or worse, a nip slip. And let’s not even get into under boob sweat-ugh. Dealing with boobs is something men will never understand but I know you women understand the relief of removing a bra after a long tiring day.

PERIODS, CRAMPS & PMS

This is the ultimate mystery for men. In fact, it is known that all men (if they are smart) stay far away from a woman who is PMSing. And yes, most men do their best to be considerate when asking questions, trying not to ask the wrong thing, but as soon as you start explaining to them how everything works, they start to shut down and no longer want to listen. I don’t blame them, it’s a little yucky and complicated. But just know this, “I’m fine,” it often means she’s not at all fine. Just buy her chocolate and all should be fine.

OB/GYN VISITS & CHILDBIRTH

First off, going to a gynecologist as a young woman is one of the scariest things a female will ever have to do. And it is not that it is scary at all, but more of the unknown adult world you are now officially entering.

Being pregnant is a wonderful, yet at the same time, terrifying experience. You have this human that is growing inside you. The baby moves around beating the crap out of your insides regardless of the hour of day. You now must buy maternity clothes because nothing fits you, you get pains often and worry about them constantly, your hormones and emotions are cra-cra, you crave the craziest things to eat. You start falling in love with this alien invading your body, then you remember you must push this huge object out of your vagina-greeeeat. And then you have a beautiful child and all will be forgotten, until next pregnancy.

Wearing Spanx. No explanation necessary.

Walking in heels. We must learn to walk in them. Yes, they can be as dangerous as they look. Yes, our feet hurt like hell if we wear them for more than an hour. And yes, we might even use them as weapons if the need arises. But we know we look extremely hot wearing them and that’s why we’ll never stop.

Being catcalled. Because guys think that this is a compliment, and they’d be happy to hear such things whistled from random women on the streets. Guys NEVER understand how this girl problem is just creepy.

Long bathroom lines. Women need to use bathrooms more often and for longer periods of time, there needs to be more women’s restrooms added per restroom locations. When are they going to be smart enough to figure this out?

Bathing suit season. Most women dread this part of the summer season. All women’s bodies are entirely different and shopping for a swimsuit sucks.

Waxing & Shaving. Rashes, ingrown hairs, itchy stubble, cuts. All in the pursuit of feeling and being felt silky smooth.

Putting on Makeup. Everyday Women are bombarded on every side about how they should look. Do you really think it’s possible for us to look this good all the time without putting in any effort? We go through hell. And if we go one day without makeup people ask, “are you sick?” “is everything ok?”. UGH!

Nail polish. Yes, my fingernails and toenails must match. And if they do not, I am mortified-don’t judge.

Proms & Special Occasions. Finding the right dress for a special occasion is a taxing task that requires hours and hours of shopping. And it is NOT the fun type of shopping we live for either. We also worry that another person may be wearing the same exact dress. And what if they look better!

Wage gaps. And yes, the wage gap continues. See last week’s blog.

This is just a few problems men will ever understand about being female. All we need is a little bit of understanding, a little bit of respect, a little bit of support, a little bit of love and lots of chocolate and wine, if you are of age. We are not that complicated..lol….ok, yes we are. But we are kind and lovable and never boring.

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton

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Equal pay for woman

Equal pay for equal work. It might sound like common sense, but unfortunately, it’s not reality. On April 4th, a day known as Equal Pay Day, people gathered in various cities to speak out against the various barriers women encounter in the workplace.

In 1963, President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act (EPA) into law, making it illegal for employers to pay unequal wages to men and women who perform equal work. At the time the EPA was made a law, women earned only 59 cents to every dollar earned by men. Today, women make, on average, only 78 cents for every dollar earned by men which tells us that significant differences remain and need to be addressed. The EPA started to help move the pay gap, but a lot still needs to be done.

imagesWomen have made tremendous strides taking jobs and occupations previously held exclusively by men. But women are still segregated into minimum-wage working jobs, according to an AAUW report. Based on their analysis of Department of Education data, 40 percent of women work in historically female occupations like social work, teaching and nursing, but only five percent of men were employed in these fields as of 2013. American women who work full time all year are paid only 80 cents for every dollar paid to men — and for women of color, the wage gap is even larger. That is a gender wage gap of 20 percent! This means it took 44 years for the wage gap to close just 18 cents — a rate of less than half a penny a year.

equal-pay-dayOn average, women receive more college and graduate degrees than men do. Yet, women continue to earn considerably less than men. The pay gap was the smallest in New York, the largest gap was in Wyoming, where women were paid 64 percent of what men were paid. The pay gap affects women from all backgrounds, at all ages, and of all levels of educational achievement. The pay gap is even worse for women of color.

 

In Pennsylvania, workers are on track to get the same pay for the same work in 2068. That is 51 years from now, the Institute for Women’s Policy Research reported. In New Jersey, equal pay is projected to happen in 2054.  Overall, the U.S. is expected to have equal pay by 2059.

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What can we do? Let’s help support raising the wage to promote fair pay for women. Equal pay for equal work shouldn’t be an idea. It should be reality. We need to make pay equitable. The Legislature can create paid leave and child-care policies allowing mothers to keep their jobs, avoiding long gaps in employment that drive down wages. And we need to raise the minimum wage — two-thirds of minimum-wage earners are women — and enact other policies to raise wages. We need to rally to combat wage discrimination and get our voices heard. Here are some dates in 2017 to support equal pay. Get out there and show your support!

2017 Equal Pay Days

March 7, 2017-Asian American Women’s Equal Pay Day

April 4, 2017-All Women’s Equal Pay Day

May 23, 2017-Mothers’ Equal Pay Day

July 31, 2017-Black Women’s Equal Pay Day

September 25, 2017-Native American Women’s Equal Pay Day

November 2, 2017-Latinas’ Equal Pay Day

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton

www.girltalkmarlton.org

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“When I joined four teammates in filing a wage-discrimination complaint against U.S. Soccer late last month, it had nothing to do with how much I love to play for my country. It had everything to do with what’s right and what’s fair and with upholding a fundamental American concept: Equal pay for equal play.” —Carli Lloyd, in a New York Times article from March 2016

“If fighting for equal pay and paid family leave is playing the gender card, then deal me in!” —Hillary Clinton, in Harlem at the Apollo Theater in March 2016

“Without women’s groups knocking on doors, I wouldn’t have gotten where I am. We need women to support each other. We still don’t have equal pay.” —Sonia Sotomayor, at an event organized by Watermark in 2013

 

Listen up, girl

0b05378e-a9ef-4b72-8b34-11604e323133Last week actress and doctor, Mayim Bialik from the hit TV show The Big Bang Theory released a video on her social media that went viral. In this video, she implored both men and women to stop referring to women as “girls”. The actress explains that the language we use matters, particularly when it comes to gender and equality. When we use words to describe adult women that are typically used to describe children, it changes the way we view women”, says Bialik, who also has a ph.d in neuroscience. It implies that adult women are inferior to men. While most of it is not intentional, it doesn’t make it less demeaning. We never refer to a grown man as a “boy” because it would come across as emasculating. When “boy” is used to dismiss a man, it is an insult and should be taken as one. As should the word “girl.”

She directs viewers to Google the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis — a theory that says, according to Dictionary.com, that the ‘structure of a language determines or greatly influences the modes of thought and behavior characteristic of the culture in which it is spoken.’  Clearly, language determines thought and can influence our decisions.  So, if the words we use have a massive impact on how we see the world, then we should be more careful about the words we use for the benefit of ourselves and those around us. As for the people who call women girls, she says: ‘I know your intentions are probably good, but I hope you can learn to see the unintended and negative impact.

Our language matters, because when we say “girls,” we are using a word that implies a maxresdefault.jpglack of experience. There are a lot of words used for women, not all of them are flattering. Truthfully, as a woman, “girl” doesn’t bother me as much as “ma’am” or “honey”, to me they are worse! My mom always called me “honey” and I knew it was a term of endearment but coming out of the mouth of a stranger takes on a completely different meaning. To me, they are insults disguised as compliments. It gives a false sense of intimacy to a total non-relationship. We are not friends, we are not a couple, you probably don’t even know my name. It’s demeaning and insulting even if you say it with a smile. If you do not know my name-ask. If you do know my name-use it when addressing me.

YES-words have power. Negative or positive-You can lift someone up or you can bring someone down with just one word. Always try to think about what you’re going to say before you say it. Also, the context matters, how you say it and what you’re talking about makes a difference. Even if you don’t totally agree with Mayim, it might be good to try and change things and show all women the respect and basic rights that are deserved.

You can view her video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHH3lhYwqcY

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

One word

whats-your-wordIf you had to pick one word to live by what would it be? Maybe it is a virtue you want more of in your life, maybe a challenge you want to overcome, or maybe something you are passionate about. I stumbled upon a service project online that asks this question. What’s your word?

I had to give this some thought, there are so many words that are perfect! Immediately the words love, hope, dream, breathe, pray, and wish popped into my head. Picking one word out of all the glorious, interesting, provoking, meaningful, wondrous, and reflective words out there can be downright intimidating!

So how do you go about picking one word?  Drive deep into your soul and list your qualities. Is agtzfndvcmRhcml1bXIfCxIHR2FsbGVyeRgBDAsSCkNsb3VkSW1hZ2UYudQ_DAthere something you could benefit from focusing on? This will help you nail down your personal motto – the word that captures your purpose and passion. This word defines you and your mission. It will be your focus, your mantra, the word that will guide you. Choosing one word makes it easier to remember and to put into action. It will help give you meaning, mission, passion and purpose. And your one word can change, it doesn’t have to be the same forever. Start with one and see how it goes.

56a5b7441e1df7e12af3878fcf27fa26After much reflection, I chose INSPIRE. It is one of my favorite words. I am lucky enough to have had many inspirational people in my life that put a fire in my heart to inspire others. I want to be a positive influence capable of inspiring others to become better versions of themselves. Of course, as I am constantly continuing to work on myself to be the best version of me.

Understanding the difference that positive inspiration can make in a person’s life gives me the motivation I need to make every moment count as an opportunity to inspire others. Inspiration is powerful. I take opportunities to inspire others through my words and actions during everything that goes on in this hectic world we live.  I try my best to be cognizant of how I act and react in situations.  But I am human, I need to remind myself to be authentic and true, to be kind and to not judge others so harshly.  By trying to be the best version of myself I hope to inspire others to do the same. My one word -inspire- I believe, challenges us all to live purposefully.

So, how did you do? Did you choose your One Word? 75cefe30b681dcd94e180f6c87d43831 You can now put that word to use, that’s my wish for you! Keep it where you can see it, and let it inspire you each day.

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/one-word/

www.girltalkmarlton.org

www.thewishwall.org

Dream…Wish…Hope.

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Give your dreams a chance, I did. I clearly remember watching the news broadcast of Simonetta Lein, the Wishmaker being interviewed with the Philadelphia Wishwall in the backdrop and its purpose was being explained.

As I stood in front of the TV, I listened attentively trying to gather as much information as I could about this project. “A Wishwall in every city where people can express their wishes and we, the Wishwall Foundation, grant those dreams that are most meaningful”, Simonetta said in her beautiful Italian accent. When the segment concluded, I exclaimed loudly, “I want one!” No one in my house knew what I was talking about, but I was now on a mission.

I googled the Wishwall Foundation and found out all I drm902wishhopedreamcould online, I followed them on all social media, emailed Simonetta and let her know that I was interested in a Wishwall in my town of Marlton NJ. To my delight and amazement, she answered me almost immediately and by the end of the week we had spoken several times on the phone discussing the many facets of the Wishwall Foundation. My head was spinning thinking of different ways that my mentoring chapter of Girl Talk Inc could collaborate with her.

So, during the next leaders meeting of the mentoring program I spoke to the girls about the Wishwall. I showed them the news report along with a few other you tube videos and articles I found about actual wishes that Simonetta helped to make come true! The girls were in! We decided to make a mock-up of a small wishwall to explain it to the rest of the group so they could get a better understanding.

wish_web_1_1024x1024At our next general meeting when all the members of our chapter gather together, we revealed our mock-up wall and the leaders invited the girls to write wishes and come post them on this wall. We explained our desire to bring the Wishwall Foundation to Marlton with a permanent physical Wishwall where wishes can come true. We also discussed the online wishwall and that Girl Talk would be getting our own page and will be writing for the women’s wishwall every week! The girls were very excited to hear this and wanted to learn more. We let them know that we were heading to meet with Simonetta at her home the following week and we would have more information after that meeting.

mb-girltalk-pc_front_v4So, fast forward to today, we are in full swing planning our event. It will be Saturday, December 10th from 12:30-4:30pm at the Evesham Library in Marlton, NJ and YOU are invited to see my wish come true. This is my wish, for YOU. Please come with your meaningful wish and bring it to our wall in Marlton. You do NOT have to be resident of Marlton and the wish does NOT have to be for you. The wish need be a meaningful one and the Wishwall Foundation and the board members will review all wishes. The event will be spectacular with vendors, food, fun, music and plenty of love and smiles so please come and share in my wish come true. Girl Talk Marlton members and the Wishwall Foundation are very excited about this event!

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As I am writing this I must admit, I do have another wish. I am wishing for a physical space for my girls to “hangout”. I would like a place where the girls and our volunteers can call our own. Where the girls can decorate themselves and we can have some of our meetings. Ah….I can dream can’t I?

~Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall

www.girltalkmarlton.org

www.thewishwall.org

Unconditional Love & Acceptance

Love-Unconditionally-ds115.jpgUnconditional love is something that can be difficult to explain to those who have never experienced it; but on the occasion that you have been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of such an act of thoughtfulness, you are loved without restrictions or conditions. Loving unconditionally is one of the bravest things you will ever do.

Unconditional love means, “I love you no matter what happens,” not “no matter what you do to me.” Unconditional love does not mean “I love you if you hurt me.” You must love yourself unconditionally first. You are worthy.

Life is hard more often than we’d like it to be. Life is by nature, conditional. The idea that love might be unconditional sounds unrealistic. Is that even possible? Too often, the affection of others comes at a high price to even consider the possibility that love might be unconditional. It is a string-less gift of the heart. But it IS all around us!


Take a mother and child’s relationship. This is one of the most beautiful forms of unconditional love and sacrifice. As a mother, or parent, we sacrifice our own wants for the benefit of our child without thought for ourselves. This is love without conditions. This month will be 18 years that my mother has passed, I long for that feeling of unconditional love I felt from her.

If you have had a pet, especially a dog, they love their masters unconditionally. No matter if you get upset with them or don’t play with them when they want to play, the pets do not seem to mind, because they know that somewhere within, the master loves them.

In marriage or any committed relationship where there is unconditional love, there are hurdles. Remember to be accepting, love them with their flaws and imperfections. Forgiveness is also necessary to create a healthy long term relationship. Unconditional love is not petty. Love honor and cherish your partner who loves honors and cherishes you. By no way should you ever stay in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Treat each other with kindness. And when you argue with your significant other, because you will-fight fair. 

How can we bring more unconditional love into our lives? The best way to receive it is to give it away.

Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.  It could be as simple as smile or handshake or as complex as raising money for a specific cause. Whatever it is, we must recognize that we have the capacity to show unconditional love to others.

uncondloveIf you think carefully about those closest to you, there is likely at least one person in your life that understands and practices what it means to show unconditional love toward others. These people are out serving others. They aren’t waiting for the future to make a difference; they are making a difference today.

Unconditional love heals the broken, empowers the timid, affirms the hesitant, and elevates those who have been overlooked, forgotten, and silenced. There is a power that comes to those who show and to those who receive unconditional love. Those who show this love are released from being consumed with themselves. Those who receive this love are released from limitations others have placed on them. You have everything you need right now to show unconditional love toward someone else. It is within you, but you must first love yourself unconditionally.

To love unconditionally takes courage. It is hard, I know, especially when your heart has been broken. It takes courage to keep trying. But never give up! Don’t let another person ever define your sense of self-worth. You can change the world one person at a time.

My wish is for you to spread your unconditional love around the world, we need more of it.

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

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“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return.” Madonna

Welcome Spring!

spring-1210194_1280Spring is the season of tremendous beauty, it is a time when flowers bloom and trees begin to grow. It is a time of new hope, new dreams, rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, and regrowth. We welcome spring and rejoice in the longer days filled with visions of growth all around us after the cold depressing winter. Open your windows to allow the breeze to come through the curtains and let the sunlight fill your home waking it from its winters long slumber. This instantly lifts our mood and energizing us. Sometimes simply noticing the change of seasons is enough to bring a change within ourselves. We must learn to enjoy the simple things in life. Just observing the beauty of God’s creations and enjoying them gives us a sense of renewal.

“A prayer in Spring” poem is beautiful poem by Robert Frost and one of my favorite. Robert Frost is known as one of the best poets of the 20th century, his poems have been a source of inspiration to the young and old. In this poem below, he reminds us it is important to not overthink the future and live in the moment while enjoying the gifts God has given us.

34b5b46716894a8eb046fe4cb9ce452bLearn to be present and be grateful for all the beauty around us. Stop worrying so much about the future but instead love and embrace today. Use the visionary beauty of spring as inspiration to bring your goals and creative energy to fruition. Use this time to renew your commitment to your goals and replenish your motivation.

Spring is a perfect time to stop, reassess your life, and make changes. What better time than spring to re-group and re-prioritize, and even re-invent ourselves! My wish for you is to embrace the change of the season and take the time to enjoy the beauty of it. Welcome Spring!

 

A Prayer in Spring by Robert Frost

OH, give us pleasure in the flowers today;

And give us not to think so far away

As the uncertain harvest; keep us here

All simply in the springing of the year.

 

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white,

Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;

And make us happy in the happy bees,

The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

 

And make us happy in the darting bird

That suddenly above the bees is heard,

The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,

And off a blossom in midair stands still.

 

For this is love and nothing else is love,

To which it is reserved for God above

To sanctify to what far ends he will,

But which it only needs that we fulfill.

Spring-1

 

 

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/welcome-spring/