We all judge each other, and it is OK

b036f98c3c60785e075834f61a10fb55.jpgYou always hear DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS, but I think it is a part of human nature. No matter how subtle, most of the time we judge unconsciously or by intuition.  I judge others all the time, and you do, too. You are judging this article right now, and that is okay.  From the moment you meet someone, you are judging their clothes, hair, makeup, and so on. You don’t even notice it, but we do it all day long.

Judgment is nothing but evaluation of evidence or facts to help us decide.  It is that little voice inside our heads that tells us to ask that sweet looking woman for directions instead of that young teenager because you judged him that he wouldn’t know.  Or when you decide to not pick the checkout line with the young chatty girl because you assume she will be too slow. We judge or evaluate life experiences, situations, things, opinions, thoughts, and people based on the values, emotions and logic we were taught. As human beings, we are blessed with touch, speech, hearing, taste, smell, common sense (most of us-lol) and intuition. These senses help us to evaluate every person or situation-in other words, judge.

Accept your urge to judge, it will help you make good decisions. Assume everyone else judges everyone else (because they do).  Ask others to share their judgements of you. Listen with an open heart and mind.  Embrace your judgements and be willing to learn from others judgements of you. Every person you meet has something special to give you—that is, if you are open to receiving it.

judgeMerriam-Webster defines “judgment” as “An opinion or decision that is based on careful thought. The act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought. The act of judging something or someone. The ability to make good decisions about what should be done.” Many people don’t use the “careful thought” part of the definition and that is where I think good judgment and bad judgment come into play.

Judge when it is right to judge, and know how to judge. That’s imperative. There’s a thin line between judgment and ignorance, which leads to injustice. Knowing when to judge is also very important. Discretion and calculation in judgment is strength, for it shows wisdom and maturity.  Gossiping, ridiculing, or wanting to cause harm to someone by judging shows only your immaturity and ignorance.

People fear being judged because they fear being evaluated. Don’t fear it, instead originalembrace it! We must recognize that we are all imperfect and it is okay. People are going to judge you regardless of what you are or are not doing, so just do whatever makes you happy. And when you choose to step out and walk into the things you have been called to do, you can and should except judgement. Prepare for it and it will not come as a surprise. We cannot always help what happens to us, but we can help how we react to these things.

 “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

My wish for you is to Live Courageously!

Mary Beth Iannarella

Girl Talk Marlton/The Wishwall Foundation

 

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/we-all-judge-each-other-and-it-is-ok/

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ANXIETY FREE WORLD

http://thewishwall.org/desideri/anxiety-free-world/

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ANXIETY FREE WORLD
Anxiety is the body’s normal reaction to stress or danger, however some teenage girls experience high levels of anxiety that may lead to depression or worse.

Anxious feelings, worries, or fears are common among children and adolescents but according to studies teen girls suffer from high levels of anxiety 20% more than teen boys. Anxiety might be felt as jittery, a sick stomach, excessive worry, headaches, insomnia, nightmares, or general feelings of not feeling well. But anxiety becomes a problem when it’s out of proportion to the situation, and interferes with a person’s ability to function.

An overly anxious teen might withdraw from activities because she’s too scared or anxious, and her anxiety doesn’t go away with reassurance from anyone. An anxiety disorder is characterized by excessive or irrational fears. If your teen seems as if she might be struggling with anxiety disorder, rest assured that she is not alone. Anxiety disorders are a rising concern within the pediatric population. A large, national survey of adolescent mental health reported that about 8 percent of teens ages 13–18 have an anxiety disorder and they are predicting it to continue to rise.

When to look for help:
> SOCIAL CHANGES. Suddenly avoiding social contacts–refusing to go to overnights, parties, or school.
> SUDDEN DROP IN GRADES. Anxiety makes it difficult to follow a teacher’s instructions.
> OCD-LIKE SYMPTOMS. Checking and rechecking the door to make sure it is locked or arranging objects “just so.”
> PHOBIAS. Fearing spiders, thunderstorms, or the dark, as she did when she was a little girl.
> SUBSTANCE ABUSE. Smoking, drinking, or experimenting with illegal drugs
> Other signs of anxiety can include nail biting, being scared easily, extra hard on herself, very angry and irritable.

If you think your teen suffers from abnormal levels of anxiety or a possible anxiety disorder, please get a diagnosis from a professional. Start with your teens doctor. Understand that these disorders are highly treatable and with therapy and possibly medication, your teen can learn to relax and enjoy life again.

Learn what anxiety and depression looks like in teens and what you can do to help. Many people who develop depression have a history of an anxiety disorder earlier in life. There is no evidence one disorder causes the other, but there is clear evidence that many people suffer from both disorders. So do what you can now to help your teen get through this tough time in her life.

Talk to your child about how to recognize when she is feeling anxiety, and how it makes her feel. Try to spend some extra time with her and teach her to think of herself as empowered instead of hopeless. In a culture that has shifted its emphasis away from meaning and relationships, maybe the benefits of time and communication would be able to have a lasting impact not just with your child, but also with future generations to come.

A world without anxiety, fear, sadness and depression and all of the bad that goes along with it is my wish for the world…my wish for the week.
~Mary Beth
Girl Talk
Marlton NJ Chapter